On the evening of that day they overtook the Samanas and requested their company and allegiance (13). Siddhartha has one single goal - to become empty, to become empty of thirst, desire, dreams, please, and sorrow - to let the Self die (14). The rumors of the Buddha sounded attractive; there was magic in there reports (21). The rumors reached the Samanas in the forest and Siddhartha and Govinda, a little at a time, every little item heavy with hope, heavy doubt (21). On the same day, Siddhartha informed the eldest Samana of his decision to leave him (23). The young men thanked him for his good wishes, returned his bow, and departed (24).
The two young ascetics, in their search for Gotama's abode had been referred to this district by tales and answers to their questions, and on their arrival in Savathi, food was offered to them immediately at the first house in front of whose door they stood silently begging (25). "Look," said Siddhartha softly to Govinda, "there is the Buddha" (27). In the evening, however, when the heat abated and everyone in the camp was alert and gathered together, they heard the Buddha preach (28). Govinda has listened to the teachings and accepted them, but you, my dear friend, will you not also tread the path of salvation? (29). In that moment, Govinda realized that his friend was leaving him and began to weep (30).Govinda pressed his friend again and again to tell him why he would not follow the Buddha's teachings, what flaw he found in them, but each time Siddhartha waved him off: "Be at peace, Govinda. The Illustrious One's teachings are very good. How could i find a flaw in them?" (31).
As Siddhartha left the grove in which the Buddha, the Perfect One, remained, in which Govinda remained, he felt that he had also left his former life behind in the grove (37). He looked around him as if seeing the world for the first time; the world was beautiful, strange and mysterious (39). But as these thoughts passed through Siddhartha's mind, he suddenly stood still, as if a snack lay in his path (40). Then suddenly this also was clear to him: he who was in fact like one who had awakened or was newly born must, begin his life completely afresh (40). Now, however, in that moment as he stood still, as if a snake lay in his path, this thought also came to him: I am no longer what I was, I am no longer an ascetic, no longer a priest, no longer a Brahmin (40).
Before evening of that day he reached a large town and he was glad, because he had a desire to be with people (50-51). Siddhartha saw how beautiful she was and his heart rejoiced (51). He enquired from the first people that he met about the grove and the woman's name, and learned that it was the grove of Kamala, the well-known courtesan, and that besides the grove she owned a house in the town (52). He must have clothes, fine clothes, and shoes, fine shoes, and plenty of money in his purse and presents for Kamala (54). "For you will need much money if you want to be Kamala's friend" (57).
Siddhartha went to see Kamaswami, the merchant, and was shown into a rich house (63). "I have been told," the merchant began, "that you are a Brahmin, a learned man, but you seek service with a merchant" (63).He was not long in Kamaswami's house when he was already taking part in his master's business (66). If he made a profit, he accepted it calmly; if he suffered a loss, he laughed and said, "Oh well, this transaction has gone badly" (67). It was useful in order to bring him money for Kamala, and it brought him more than he really needed (69). He visited the beautiful Kamala regularly, learned the art of love in which, more than anything else, giving and taking become one (71).
He had tasted riches, passion and power, but for a long time he remained a Samana in his heart (75). For a long time he has to talk to her about the Illustrious Buddha and Kamala had sighed and said: "One day, perhaps soon, I will also become a follower of this Buddha" (80). Weariness was written on Kamala's beautiful face, weariness from continuing along a long path which had no joyous goal, weariness and incipient old age, and concealed and not yet mentioned, perhaps a not yet conscious fear-fear of the autumn of life, fear of old age, fear of death (81). The same night Siddhartha left his garden and the town and never returned (85). When she heard the first news of Siddhartha's disappearance, she went to the window where she kept a rare songbird in a golden cage (85). She opened the door of the cage, took the bird out and let it fly away (85).
The songbird was dead; its death, which he had dreamt about, was the bird in his own heart (87). Siddhartha reached the long river in the wood, the same river across which a ferryman had once taken him when he was still a young man and had come from Gotama's town (88). He saw his face reflected, and spat at it; he took his arm away form the tree trunk and turned a little, so that he could fall headlong and finally go under (89). The new Siddhartha felt a deep love for this flowing water and decided that he would not leave it again so quickly (100).
My path once led from his hut to a new life which is now old and dead (101). "Come and live with me; there is room and food for both of us" (105). The river knows everything; one can learn everything from it (105). One day, when very many people were making a pilgrimage to the dying Buddha, Kamala, once the most beautiful of courtesans, was also on her way (110). From under her clothes a small black snake, which had bitten Kamala, crawled away (111). The he saw Kamala, whom he recognized immediately, although she lay unconscious in the ferryman's arms (111). Then he knew that it was his own son whose face had so reminded him of something, and his heart beat quickly (111).
Siddhartha understood that his son did not know him, that he could not love him as a father (117). For many months Siddhartha waited patiently in the hope that his son would come to understand him, that he would accept his love and that he would perhaps return it (118). A day come when young Siddhartha said what was in his mind and openly turned against his father (123). The following morning he had disappeared (124).
Siddhatha took many travellers across the river who had a son or a daughter with them, and he could not see any of them without envying them, without thing: So many people possess this very great happiness-why not I? (129). The river's voice was sorrowful (134). It sang with yearning and sadness, flowing towards it goal (134). "Listen better!" whisper Vasudeva (134). There shone in his face the serenity of knowledge, of one who is no longer confronted with conflict of desires, who has found salvation, who is in harmony with the stream of events, with the stream of life, full of sympathy and compassion, surrendering himself to the stream, belonging to the unity of all things (136).
When Govinda moved on, he chose the path to the ferry, eager to see this ferryman, for although he had lived his life according to the rule and was also regarded with respect by the younger monks for his age and modesty, there was still restlessness in his heart and his seeking was unsatisfied" (139). "When someone is seeking," said Siddhartha," it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal" (140). Although surprised, Govinda was compelled by a great love and presentiment to obey him; he leaned close to him and touch his forehead with his lips (149). No longer knowing whether time existed, whether this display had lasted a second or a hundred years, whether there was a Siddhartha, or a Gotama, a Self and other, wounded deeply by a diving arrow which Govinda stood yet a while bending over Siddhartha's peaceful face which he had just kissed, which had just bee the stage of all present and future forms (151). He was overwhelmed by a feeling of great love, of most humble veneration (151).
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